In Trouble

       I'd see the street and keep moving, remembering the dangers that lie down it: some house where mean-spirited people with wicked plans often dwell. Other times I’d simply do my best to travel only so far down these areas or pass by such houses as covertly and quickly as possible recalling again what I remembered of these troublesome ones; this would solidify my reasoning to avoid these areas.

       

          I'd look for the dangerous faces in the crowds, and if present I wasn't. Constantly I was aware and on guard against those who meant harm and would be willing to act on such evils. There I met with others. There I weighed who was who. There I did my best to have fun while being ready to defend against dangers of many kinds, regularly listening for news of the day to not be caught in trouble. I remember the adventures. The times of fragile alliances still lingers in memory, the strange mixture of good and bad. This was growing up in a trailerpark.

     

          In this strange upbringing that nearly brought me down though I was lifted up and made new; I found salvation. I found meaning. I started to hope for the first time in a long time as faith grew in me when I began to trust Jesus. The ruin was now restoration and self-worth was being made right; the park would not destroy me.

       

          These many interactions with each person met would change also. One more face revealed. One more life entering mine, and story after story began opening before me. The years would pass and friendships would be made. Work would be done in the growing up....yet "the park" never left me....and still I'd move forward as I did then; the old ways though would be channeled and changed.

       

          The old me was healing. The deep wounds of an injured me were bound up and growth was taking place. The memories would linger still. The times of trial played and paused, stopped and silenced. Over and over this would happen while the story was changing. Ways that were survival became skills and strengths, ones Jesus made constructive in me. Practice and opportunities given developed healthy in me. What was once a curse to me now grew to a strength. Fast forward to now and I'd see the faces in the crowds. I’d wonder about their stories, the ones of others met in venturing from these volatile neighborhoods. Here I’d seek to give all I can in each new life met. I’d start with the grace of a simple hello. Each interaction would prompt an analysis, "Who are they? What makes us similar? How can I be a light to them today?" when meeting others and entering new environments. Simultaneously a caution was exercised, a caution and an alertness; though now I'm growing through it. Now I’m healing (even after so many years); healing and not just bleeding anymore, taking into consideration one God-given truth: not every moment will I be found navigating in trouble I once used to.

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