Loosely

          Slot A to slot B, each action made in each second. Every ordered step clung to fiercely; the slightest deviation and the whole thing falls apart, I fall apart. This need for control thought of as power and stability to me....until now.

         "If you fail to plan, you will plan to fail.", but every second of life can't be measured out, orchestrated in such a restricting way as to choke out living, for this is not living. There's a difference between being intentional and obsessive compulsive, so, I adjust my grip on life, remembering to not let go, yet hold on loosely, realizing more and more this is true power: when we learn to not control everything, and here, we find out what living truly is.

Note About This Piece: I have struggled with having a healthy understanding in responding to life (and all that happens in it) all my life. At some point I began to set plans in motion each day, a structure or routine of some sort if you will. However, plans don't always work, and when this sort of thing happens we can struggle (especially people such as I). I don't do well with change (especially when it's sudden and there is NO PLAN), but I can adjust as needed and I like variety (so that helps. I just SOME structure in each day). This is my first essay attempt at expressing such things as I learn how to adjust in these changes. My second attempt is called "Learning To Sail" (also posted here in the blog), and "Chili Lessons" is my third (also posted in the blog). Those pieces were simply more poetic and, I guess much clearer ways to express these thoughts and struggles, pieces I'm very proud of to be honest. 

Sidenote: If any of the writing on this blog has made a good impact on your life in someway (EVEN if it was something you may have enjoyed reading for a particular reason), please feel free to share this blog with someone else who could be blessed also. Thank you for your support!


 

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